Living in the world has never been easy. There have always been challenges. But these days, things feel more difficult than ever. The economy is shaky, the environment is under attack, civil liberties are threatened. We seem to be in the midst of major social and economic upheaval. How can we best respond? Spiritual teachers suggest we learn to live in the world but not of it, being with the craziness that’s all around us without letting that craziness overwhelm us.      

Living in the world but not of it is about being in the flow of life. It’s not about living in some kind of fantasy state. It’s about seeing more clearly when we’re in life’s flow and when we’re not. And while we all have different life situations, there are no conditions that make living in the world but not of it an inappropriate goal. It’s not about fixing anything. It’s about connecting to something deeper in ourselves. While chaos may dominate the outer world, it doesn’t need to dominate our inner worlds.  

There are two parts to living in the world but not of it. First, is about managing our everyday lives: earning a living, running a household, caring for loved ones, finding time for ourselves. We don’t necessarily need to eliminate anything, just manage our lives better when we can. The second part is spiritual, connecting with our deepest selves, tapping into our souls, the soul being the “immaterial essence” of who we are, according to one definition. My soul is who I am at the core, the part of me that continues on when I die. 

 Living in the world but not of it allows us to see things from a broader perspective, a perspective not tied to the past, a perspective that connects us to our deepest selves and to the whole. The inner part is about expanding our awareness, being in the flow of things, and being open to possibility.    

What Keeps Us  from Our Centers?

The biggest block to living in the world but not of it, the biggest block to being in the flow of life, the biggest block to accessing our deepest selves is the ego, the part of us that’s self-absorbed and tied to issues from the past. And since our egos are tied to outmoded issues from the past, they’re insecure and easily get defensive and their reactions can show up at any time. 

Our egos abhor the idea that we have a deeper self. Being in the flow is anathema to our egos. When we try to tap into our deepest selves our egos throw a fit. As a result, we’re forced to live with two layers of chaos, the craziness of our ego-selves and the craziness of the outer world⎯a double shot of chaos. 

What’s the Path?

In my experience, the best way to achieve peace within is to connect to our deepest selves through meditation and introspection. Meditation is about getting out of our heads—letting go of mental activity in order to more directly connect to the universal energy that’s in and around us. I call that energy “Presence.” Tapping into that energy is a unique sensory experience that may take time to develop. But if we stay with it, the results can be transforming. 

Through meditation, I’ve been able to get a sense of who I am independent of my physical body and my thoughts. Meditation can be done alone or in a group and there are many different kinds of meditation. More detail on the specific methodology I use is presented in Appendix 1. There are other ways to connect to the whole, including psychedelics. Meditation, however,  requires no external stimulus, and there are questions as to how to safely use psychedelics. 

The other inner part of learning to live in the world but not of it is introspection, looking at personal issues from the past that remain problematic. Some say that our personality is the mask we wear to make us feel safe. To connect with our deepest selves, to our souls, we need to explore who we are beneath our personalities, beneath the mask. To do that, I use the Enneagram system of personalities. The Enneagram comes out of ancient traditions and provides detailed information on nine personality types, “enne” being Greek for “nine.” The Enneagram is a powerful tool to help us understand the workings of our psyches. A summary of how I’ve worked with the Enneagram is provided in Appendix 2.

How to Get Out of the Trap  

To live in the world but not of it, I work back and forth between meditation and introspection. Every morning, I sit in silence for twenty minutes to center myself and to open myself to the whole by tapping into Presence. This is also a good time to revisit any personal issues that still need to be resolved. Next, I skim the news to see what’s going on in the outer world. 

These days, with so many negatives, it takes several deep breaths to begin to take in what’s going on. Even connecting with bits and pieces can feel overwhelming. When anxiety comes up, I breathe into it then slide back into meditation, if time permits. As part of the process, I try to look at events from the largest possible perspective. Going back and forth between the anxiety of the world and the comforting sense of Presence keeps me going. It’s an ongoing process and the deeper I get into it the better and the more I’m able to live in the world but not of it. 

Conclusion

To survive, we need to live in the world. Whether we’re a spiritual guru living in a cave or a corporate CEO living in Manhattan, we need food and water, social interaction and a sense of purpose. But as we live in the world, we don’t need to live of it. Once our basic needs are met, we don’t need to be dominated by craziness of the outer world. We have choices.  

Next Steps

Living in the world is difficult. Living not of the world may seem impossible. It requires patience and tenacity. As an important first step, keep breathing as the chaos spins round you.  Try it now. Stop reading take two or three slow deep inhalations and try to relax. Second, if you’re not already into it, begin some kind of meditation practice, even if it’s nothing more than taking a few minutes each day for yourself; anything to get space from the craziness of the outer world. Third, take steps, with or without professional help, to address any unresolved personal issues you have. Next, as you progress, start noticing when you feel stuck in the world and when you don’t feel stuck. Celebrate your successes. The rest is practice. From start to finish it’s a practice in practice.

Living in the world but not of it takes time and persistence. Start slowly and be patient with yourself. You don’t need to do it all at once and you don’t have to be perfect. 

Appendix 1 – My Meditation Process 

Meditation is a technique which can help us get out of our heads and into our bodies in order to more fully open ourselves to a direct experience of the whole. The meditation practice I use is called Sensing Your Arms and Legs. Below is the specific process I use. 

1. Sit in a comfortable straight-backed chair.
2. Close your eyes and try to relax.
3. Notice your breath coming in and going out.
4. If you feel nervous, allow the nervousness. Everything is acceptable.  
5. Focus only on your external breath, a slow inhale followed by a slow exhale.
6. Experience the energy in your body. Sense the blood flowing in your veins. Feel the energy in your ligaments, tissues and bones. 
7. Start with your arms and legs. Begin with the toes on your left foot. Feel the blood flowing there. 
8. Sense the energy in the ligaments and tendons of your toes.
9. When you’re ready, expand your consciousness to where your toes connect to the rest of your foot. Sense the energy, the blood, the ligaments and tendons there. 
10. Then, shift your energy in your entire left foot, the bone, tendons and ligaments there. 
11. Next, move your consciousness to your left ankle. Feel the blood flowing there. Then, feel the energy in your foot and ankle, the blood, tendons and ligaments. Breathe into the energy there. 
12. When you’re ready, move your consciousness from your ankle to your lower leg. Sense the blood, bone and muscle there. Then shift your attention from your lower leg to your knee. 
13. Step by step, experience the energy in each leg and each arm, then to the energy flowing through your abdomen and then throughout your entire body. 
14. Next expand your consciousness to experience the energy in the space surrounding your body.  
15. As you hold that energy, at some point, you may slide into a dream-like space, a relaxing place void of feeling and thinking, like a place without a place. You are just there aware, conscious but without specific thoughts. It may feel like you’re being held in a warm, fuzzy energetic field, just floating⎯being⎯by yourself but not alone.  
16. After several minutes, bring your awareness back into the room, back to yourself, in the chair on which you’ve been sitting.  

Sensing the energy in and around our bodies is a way to tap into another part of us, a more basic part. The energy you experience in and around your body is universal energy. And it’s not just in you. It’s in and around all of us. I call that energy “Presence.” Connecting with Presence helps us work through whatever blocks us from feeling at one, part of the whole.  

Developing a meditation practice can be challenging. Sticking with it takes discipline. 

Appendix 2 – Introspection Using the Enneagram System of Personalities

The Enneagram system of personalities is an ancient system of human development based on nine personality types. It provides introspection into the human consciousness and is a model for understanding ourselves and how we relate to others. The Enneagram has been taught at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, the Wharton School, and has been used by many well- known organizations including the Catholic Church. It has been described as the most powerful body of knowledge about human nature to emerge in the last forty years. 

Through the Enneagram, I’ve come to see that we’re more than who we think we are based on our childhood conditioning. For example, my upbringing taught me that my life was about doing and achieving. To get love from my parents I was expected to produce and to do that I developed a high-energy Pusher personality (Enneagram type #3) that drives me to perform in the world. I have been like an energizer-bunny, always busy, always productive. I have come to realize, however, that my soul, the “immaterial essence” of who I am, isn’t interested in that. My soul wants me to be free of that so there’s time for other things like writing, listening to music, taking long walks, and meeting with friends. It’s okay to “do,” to produce, to achieve—but I don’t need to do that compulsively. 

I also have a part of me (Enneagram Type #2) that wants people to like me, and while most of us want to be liked, that energy can take me away from my center, from my soul. I can become a suck-up, unable to honor my deeper self. 

Although not tied to the Enneagram, my sex life provides another example of aspects of my personality. I only need the slightest provocation to slide into sexual thoughts. And while there’s nothing wrong with sexual thoughts, they’re part of life, how much do I need to indulge in them? The Animal Soul part of me always wants more. My process is to notice the urge, pause, and take a deep breath. Then, realize that I’m never done. 

Appendix 3 – Personal Anecdotes 

3-1 My Personal Process

For me, when chaos hits, when I feel frustrated and helpless, the most important first step is to register what’s going on. What emotions are coming up? What, exactly, is making me unsettled and is there a tie to unresolved issues from childhood? If dealing with the emotions of that introspection is too painful, I take a break, take a few deep breaths, go for a walk or play music, for example. That may be a good time to meditate. The more I hang out with difficult feelings, however, the more space I have from my ego-self and the closer I am to my center. 

Now, after years of practice, usually in a matter of seconds, I can shift from being in the world and of it to being in the world but not of it. I can detach from whatever is bothering me and feel more connected to the whole. But don’t try to address all your issues at once. There are just too many. Just work the process, piece by piece, as the issues show up. As I’ve practiced meditation and introspection, I’ve gotten good at it. It’s cumulative. But it’s also important to realize that you’re never done. We work the process and the process works us. In the end, we  learn to better connect with our souls and to the infinite energy of the universe.