Evolution is happening now. It’s not something that only happened in the past. It’s happening now, in this very moment.

Some say that ever since the Big Bang, thirteen to fourteen billion years ago, evolution has occurred in three phases: physical, mental, and spiritual. In the physical phase, galaxies came into being, including various suns, planets, and other terrestrial bodies. Planet earth and our sun and moon were part of that and over hundreds of millions of years there were more physical changes. On planet earth, continents shifted, ice ages came and went, and various types of plants and animals evolved. 

Around four million years ago scientists say life began, microscopic at first followed by thousands of species of plants and animals. At that point, physical changes became less dominant, and the physical phase of evolution yielded to the mental phase. Approximately 300,000 years ago homo sapiens appeared, noted for their upright posture and large neocortex which allowed more in depth thinking. That was the beginning of the mental phase of evolution, and it became dominant leading to all of man’s amazing creations. The mental phase, however, has led us to the brink of extinction. If we don’t change, life could be snuffed out. What’s needed now is to move into the spiritual phase of evolution. The spiritual phase is about connecting to the whole and getting out of our heads. 

A few years ago, I attended a workshop where the facilitator put forth three laws of survival: 

1. Survival is the goal of all life.
2. The future belongs to those with the fitness to change.  
3. The environment dictates the nature of the change required. 

If survival is the goal, we need to evolve as a species. We need to move beyond “thinking” and embrace “being” as a fundamental way of living. We need to nurture not exploit. Obviously, however, implementing such a shift isn’t easy. If it was, we would have already done it. So do we have the fitness for such a change? It starts with us personally. 

Too Much Thinking?

So much of how we currently function as humans involves thinking. Almost everything we do is tied to what goes on in our minds. It took hundreds of thousands of years for the mental phase to take hold and it’s brought incredible material success. But there’s been a cost. Moving beyond the mental phase will require a paradigm shift; difficult but not impossible. 

Moving beyond the mental phase, however, doesn’t mean we give up thinking altogether, as if we could. It “simply” means not continuing to let the thinking mind run the show. Just as moving from the physical phase of evolution to the mental phase didn’t negate all the physical changes that have happened (again, as if we could), moving into the spiritual phase requires thinking to help. Each evolutionary phase brings a new focus but not to the exclusion of the previous phase. 

To better understand the shift from the mental to the spiritual phase of evolution, it helps to see the extent to which the thinking mind wants to be busy and stay in control. The mind wants to create. It wants to plan. It wants to evaluate. In the mental phase that’s what human beings have been all about: thinking and getting things done. We’ve become good at that but at a cost. What’s needed now is to develop the capacity to simply “be,” not an easy task. Just try sitting alone with no thoughts for even a few seconds. It’s nearly impossible. The mind wants desperately to engage in something.  

Meditation

Meditation is a tool to clear the mind. But of course clearing the mind goes against what the mind wants to do. When I try to clear my mind, when I sit down to meditate, I can easily default to thinking. My mind isn’t into meditation. Meditation isn’t a mental thing. So when I try to meditate, my mind keeps jumping in, thinking about something: a next work project, what I’m having for lunch, an upcoming (or past) date, the state of the world, some injustice I’ve recently experienced. The list is infinite. That’s why many people use a mantra, a word or phrase to repeat over and over, in order to engage the mind enough to satisfy it as it lets go of other thinking.       

I use a meditation technique called Sensing Your Arms and Legs. Sensing my arms and legs allows me to accomplish two things at once, as a mantra to get me out of focused thinking, and as a way to connect to universal cosmic energy. I begin by closing my eyes and slowly sensing the energy around one arm or leg then moving my focus to my other arm or leg and eventually to the rest of my body. At first it may feel awkward but over time it becomes easier, and for me it’s an effective way to get out of my head and connect directly with the whole.

My process is to get up every morning, go to the bathroom, then sit in meditation for twenty minutes. I’ve been doing that for several years so usually I can slide into what I call the “nothingness space” fairly quickly. If not, I go back to the arms and legs meditation and start again. The “nothingness space” is the non-thinking space where there are no thoughts, no specific ideas. When I drop into that space, I sense a tingling energy in and around my body. Initially, it took practice and some suspending of logic to get into it. But eventually I learned to hold the nothingness space for several minutes or more. It’s challenging though as my mind continually wants to jump in to take me away into some specific thought. When that happens, I simply go back to sensing my arms and legs and begin again. It’s a learned process that takes patience and a lot of trial and error.    

Introspection

While meditation is a big part of my spiritual process, the other major part is introspection, digging into my psyche to better understand myself and see where and I might be blocked. These days, a lot of people are doing some kind of introspection with a spiritual teacher, a therapist, or simply on their own. In any case, there is nothing easy or simple about it.  

Becoming spiritual is about moving beyond our egocentric points of view in order to connect more deeply with ourselves and the Universe. Spiritual teachers have talked about that in various ways for over two thousand years but collectively we humans haven’t progressed much along that path regardless of our “religion” so we drift toward catastrophe. 

Ego is that part of us that’s “all about me” and the ego doesn’t like the “nothingness space.” My ego wants to keep me tied to outmoded ideas of who I am, distracting me from exploring my deeper self. My ego is tenacious, and it uses my mind to help keep me away from my center.     

Ego development begins in childhood. As children, we develop ways of viewing the world based largely on our experiences with our parents. Psychologists and therapists are expert at helping us understand that process and how it plays out in us individually even as adults. By learning about ourselves we can start to understand what gets in our way as we try to connect with the deepest part of us. 

The introspection path, however, is challenging. For example, I’m the fourth son in a middleclass family and as the fourth son I grew up feeling incapable and inadequate compared to my older brothers. Of course that was the reality when I was a young child, but like most people, I carried those kinds of less-than feelings into my adult life, and they became embedded in my personality. Seeing that and working through my feelings of inadequacy has been a key part of my spiritual process. Meditating and doing inner work has been an elixir in sorting out who I might be independent of my conditioned self. 

Presence 

The most important thing in the spiritual process is learning to embrace “Presence,” the universal energy of existence. It lives in the nothingness space and is always available. Accessing Presence, however, requires attunement, a tuning in often through some kind of meditative state. In the process, though, there’s usually a battle with ego which doesn’t want to lose control. So while the impetus to spirituality and survival pulls us in one direction our egos pull us in another. That’s the challenge of the spiritual process and moving into the spiritual phase of evolution.

What’s the Process? 

1. Learn to experience the nothingness space and the energy of Presence through some type of meditation. 
2. Practice being present in the moment as you live your day. 
3. Deepen your understanding of childhood issues that still run you. 
4. Continue to deepen your connection to the whole, the universal cosmic energy, through meditation while you deepen your understanding of what makes you tick. 
5. Allow yourself to experience the personal freedom that comes in doing spiritual work. 
6. If possible, find a spiritual teacher to help you with the process. 

To summarize, the key to moving into the spiritual phase of evolution is changing your focus from external to the internal. Connecting to the deepest part of ourselves and to the whole is transforming on a personal level as well as being the next step in the evolutionary thrust. Below are several short pieces which may be helpful. 

Extras

Being and Doing

There’s been a lot of talk in spiritual circles about “being” and “doing” with the admonition to step back from “doing” and allow more “being” in our lives. But doing is endemic to Western culture. In the West our lives are tied to action, to getting things done. And most times what we do is tied to survival in some way. To live we need food and water, we need shelter, we need physical and financial security, we need social interaction and sexual expression.  

But how much of what we do is based on actual need? So much of what we do is tied to wants. Once our basis needs are met our egos take over. We want more, more, more and/or better, better, better and to get that we have to do. We get on a treadmill of doing. 

Don’t get me wrong. I love doing. I love achieving and getting things done. My personality tells me my self-worth, my value, is tied to what I produce. I get a certain emotional fix when I get things done. It’s part of who I think I need to be. And of course the more I do the more I can feed all those wants my ego has stored up.

So what about “Being?” Being is a spiritual term that’s difficult to define. When I talk about being, I’m talking about a soft energy or presence that exists when my mind isn’t focused on getting things done. To tap into being I need to slide into a kind of meditative space. For example, when I meditate, I usually drop into a deep space (experience) that I call Presence or “the nothingness space.” It’s in that space that I connect to my deepest self, to my “being.”  

To summarize, “Doing” is outer. “Being” is inner. To move into the spiritual phase of evolution we need to learn to access, and then live by, our beingness. We can do everything we’ve always done but we need to do those things from a deep sense of being. We need to rely on something other than the obsessive pull of our egos.  

Living in the World but Not of It

Spiritual teachers talk about living in the world but not of it. That means doing what you need to do in to get along in life but not to the exclusion of your inner self. Obviously, living in the world takes effort: earning a living, managing a household, and staying connected with family and friends. That can be consuming. But your inner life also needs attention. 

Living in the world is challenging with all the ups and downs, successes and failures we experience but living not of the world is an even bigger challenge. Living not of the world means connecting with your inner self and with the whole, with the spiritual plain that exists independent of our physical existence. It’s been referred to as spirit, the Thou, cosmic consciousness, God, and other names. I often call it Presence because that’s the energy that comes up in me when I meditate. Whatever name you use for it, living not of the world means tapping into that energy and living from that space.

I learned to access Presence through what’s called the arms-and-legs meditation. Through the arms and legs meditation I tap into the universal energy that is there in and around my body. Accessing that energy is a learned practice that requires time and patience. Over time, I’ve become more adept at consciously integrating that energy into my being. Now, when I’m tuned in, Presence provides a welcome space from the demands of the world. And the more I access Presence the better it gets, more powerful and more readily available.

Those are basics in living in the world. We’re unique so everyone’s experience will be different. Some people are well along on the way for others the concept is new. For me, even with years of experience, living in the world but not of it is challenging. It’s not automatic. The pull of the world is just too great. Even spiritual gurus must struggle to embody wholeness day in and day out. It’s all about expanding your awareness shifting from in-the-world to not-of-the-world when you can. Below are a few examples.

My practice is about expanding my awareness to see where I need to improve. I’ve listed some examples below.

• Lust has been a big part of my life. When I feel it there’s an opportunity to detach rather than allowing it, indulging in it. All it takes is a decision.
• The same with food, especially sweets. My animal soul almost always wants more.
• Accepting others is another example. I make premature judgments about people all the time. Until recently, I haven’t even been aware of it. Now I catch myself more and ask myself where the judgment comes from.       
• Worry is another in-the-world issue for me. I can easily feel anxious about things instead of trusting the unfolding.
• When I get up in the morning, where’s my mind? Am I focused exclusively on the tasks of the day or am I also considering how I want to be.
• I’ve always been a compulsive doer. Can I learn to relax and enjoy life?

Obviously, like you, I have lots of challenges in living of-the-world but not-of-it, another part of moving into the spiritual phase of evolution.

Personality

Some say our “personality” is the mask we show the world, that our personality is only an outer covering. Well hidden beneath our personality is our true self. 

The Enneagram system of personalities is a tool I’ve used to get a clearer understanding of the personality I present to the world and who I might be at a deeper level. The Enneagram system comes from ancient traditions and proposes that we each fall into one of nine personality types, “enne” being nine in Greek. 

Each of the nine types has a specific set of characteristics and a unique path to follow to connect to the true self that lies beneath. Below is my list of the nine types. 

#1 The Perfectionist

#2 The Helper

#3 The Achiever

#4 The Romantic

#5 The Observer

#6 The Questioner

#7 The Adventurer

#8 The Boss

#9 The Peacemaker 

The first part of working with the Enneagram is getting to know your type, a process that may take some time. Most of us are so busy living our personality that it’s difficult to see it objectively. Once you become settled on which type fits you best, it’s time to start looking at who you might be independent of that, independent of your type, independent of your personality. The idea is that your personality is not the real you. Below is a summary of my process in working with the enneagram, as an example.

 I was born into a middle-class family in the Midwest. My parents and my three older brothers were high achievers so that was the expectation for me. From early on, I was programmed to be successful in the world and to be successful I saw I needed work hard. Being the youngest, I also felt as though I didn’t quite add up which gave me even more motivation to work hard. Unconsciously, I took on the Enneagram #3 Achiever personality.  

Being successful and achieving became my goal and I did what I needed to do to make that happen. I worked hard at school and then in my professional life. But I became compulsive about it, impatient when blocked and alienating with friends. Achievement and being successful was my god. So while those qualities might be positive in general, taken to the extreme they can be negative. I came to believe that being successful in the world was everything and I sublimated everything else. 

The way out was to start to see clearly what was going on with me. At first, I resisted the idea of being an Enneagram #3 Achiever. I didn’t like the idea of being so narrow and driven. I didn’t like the idea of being so obsessed with personal achievement. With time, though, as I dug deeper into my Enneagram type I saw clearly that I was that type and that’s when the real work started.

With the help of a teacher, I started to see how much I was ruled by my #3 personality identity and where that came from. It all tied back to my childhood. As a young boy, I picked up the #3 Achiever personality as my identity because I unconsciously saw that as a way to get love and acceptance from my parents. My sense of self-worth was tied to achieving and getting things done. Digging into my fear of not being successful in the world, helped me get space from that fear. But I had to feel it in my gut. What if there was no one there beyond my personality? With time though there was healing. As I let go of my #3 personality there was room for my true self to come forward. The Enneagram was a wonderful tool for that.

Being Seen

We all want to be seen in the world in some way based largely on our childhood experiences. Our parents and/or significant others tried to mold us, consciously or unconsciously, into the person they thought we should be. That influence, combined with a dose of our innate temperament, gave us a way to show up in the world, a way to be seen, a personality. Some people hold on tightly to that way of seeing themselves, others less so.      

I recently wrote a short story titled Being Seen about a young man, Steve, who freaks out when his nonbinary date, Toni, shows up for a night out in flamboyant androgynous attire. Insecure in his masculinity, Steve can’t stand being seen in public with such an exotic creature even though he recently came out as gay himself. He doesn’t mind telling people he’s gay, but he doesn’t want to be seen as effeminate in any way.

Obviously these two attractive young men have a conflict in terms of how they want to be seen in the world. They fight and Steve quickly sees that if he wants to be with Toni, he’s the one who needs to change. Toni needs to have an outlet to express his androgynous self. Steve needs to work through his outmoded ideas of what it means to be male. Steve comes up with a plan to engage with as many androgynous queers as possible in order to breakthrough his discomfort with them. He implements his plan and makes progress but then see’s that he needs professional help; his issues from childhood are just too deep.

He decides to work with a spiritual teacher who’s been recommended by a friend. They work together using meditation as a tool to explore how Steve’s issues show up in his body. With David’s help, Steve experiences the terror his week masculine feels when exposed to blatant feminine energy. Steve feels he’s being ripped part. As they work together Steve’s masculine gets stronger as he deals with his fears of the feminine. At the same time, on another tract, a friend of Toni also helps Steve tiptoe into dressing a little more elaborately (more feminine) himself. Through the dual process of deep inner work with David and allowing himself to dress more elaborately with Paul’s help, Steve makes enormous progress in integrating his previously rejected feminine in to how he can be seen in the world. 

    As Toni observes Steve’s process, they start thinking about how they might want to be seen. After some thought, Toni decides they want to be seen as creative, productive and caring. When they talk to Steve and David about it, they tell them that they seem to be more or less living that already. Toni doesn’t appear to have any substantive blocks like Steve. They can continue to express their androgynous nature as much as possible in a less than totally accepting culture.

In a follow up session, David challenges Steve and Toni to consider the concept of being seen in a broader spiritual context. What if, ultimately, we are more than our physical bodies and our personalities? What if, ultimately, we are spiritual dust: the infinite nothingness, the infinite spaciousness, of existence? And what if we saw ourselves and were seen by others as that?

Sex

Sex is tied to the procreative drive and while there’s nothing wrong with sex itself it can cause problems if misused. Sexual lust is typically triggered by some visual stimulus linked to the animal soul, the glutinous part of us that wants to take, wants to consume. Its strength varies among individuals but once activated it can be difficult to control.

My sex drive is strong and can take over ant any time. It has led me into life-threatening situations. Lust can be a major barrier to living a spiritual life. One thing that’s curious, as I’ve learned to connect with Presence, the pull to sex has become even stronger as my ego tries to pull me back into its worldly realm, with sex as one of its major tools. 

For me, lust is a daily challenge. When I see someone on the street that I’m physically attracted to, my body energy revs up and instinctively I want to take them for myself. Only infrequently am I able to appreciate the attraction without capitulating into lust. Similarly, my animal soul loves pornography. If start into it, I can spend hours hooked by the vision of naked bodies having sex. 

Practicing Presence helps. The more I connect to Presence, the less I’m pulled to external distractions, sexual and otherwise. When I connect to my inner strength, I’m better able to appreciate what I’m attracted to without being taken over by it. It’s daily process that takes determination and practice and, most of all, a commitment to not judge myself as I battle the pulls of my animal soul. What’s both interesting and annoying, however, is the paradox that as I deepen in my spiritual process, I’m able to move away from lust more quickly when it shows up, but it also tends to show up more often. However, as I feel more deeply connected with myself, through my spiritual process, I also feel more connected to my physical body and tend to want more sex. My ego is continually stirring the pot but there’s also more freedom, bit by bit, along the way. 

Shifting in the Moment 

The mind wants to be active. It wants to be thinking. It doesn’t know what to do with the concept of “nothingness space.” To be fully in the present moment, however, requires letting go of focused thinking and hanging out with Presence in the nothingness space. So it’s an uphill battle from the get-go. The mind wants to think while the spiritual process requires an aptitude for the opposite, an aptitude for hanging out in the non-differentiated nothingness space of Presence.           

Daily Examples

• In doing my daily exercises in the morning, it’s challenging to hold my focus on each exercise in tis turn. My mind isn’t satisfied with that. My cerebral cortex wants more, so it entices me to slide into other thoughts; what I did earlier in the day or what I’m planning to do next, for example. Focusing mentally on repetitive physical (or mental) exercises is not enough for the brain so it defaults to something else. However, the ability to focus and not be distracted is a key component of the spiritual process. It takes time, patience time and discipline to develop. 
• In doing tasks at home or at work, it helps to do one thing at a time. I’ve been told that over the years but it continues to be a challenge, especially in today’s “get it done” culture and the pressure to do more. Of course we can all multi-task to some degree if we want to and we can even become good at that also takes us away from a deeper focus on the individual moment, necessary for moving into the spiritual phase of evolution. A goal should be to slow down and be in the moment. For example, when I go for a walk, I try to be with the environment. Is there a breeze? If so, is it warm or cold? How warm or cold? What odors can I detect? Is there beauty to take in, in the clouds, in the plant life, in the people?

What are the preoccupations that keep you from being fully aware of who you are in the moment? We all have blocks that keep us away from our true selves. The spiritual phase of evolution is about moving through those blocks. 

Obstacles 

The biggest obstacle is inertia. It takes a major kick in the ass to get started. The second biggest problem is sticking with it. Moving into the spiritual phase of evolution is no small undertaking. Some say it’s bigger than the change from instinctual animals to thinking humans. And moving into the spiritual phase of evolution is up to us. No external force is going to make us “spiritual.” It’s a personal choice. However, it’s helpful to realize that we all don’t need to make the change at once. Many individuals have already in the process. And it’s hopeful that the “hundredth monkey” principle applies. As more and more people take on spirituality in a serious way, momentum builds until the tipping point is reached and humanity begins to shift on its own.  

Transitioning 

No one knows what happens to your essence when you die., your essence being that part of you that’s universal, the part of you that’s connected to the whole. It’s been said that when your body dies your soul moves on. But how exactly does that work? Where exactly does your soul move on to? 

Recently, a young friend ended their life after years of health issues: constant pain with no relief in sight. I miss them terribly, but I don’t blame them at all. They’re finally free. 

But what happened to Chandler’s essence when they died? No one knows for sure but soon after their cremation I sensed them near me. While I couldn’t see them, I felt their physical presence close at hand. Later I sensed them as a kind of mist. At first. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me but as those experiences continued, I released into this delightful new way to stay connected with my friend. Now, anytime I want to tap into our connection, Chandler is there, energetically providing support. 

For several years, I’ve been actively engaged in a spiritual process using meditation and introspection as tools to deepen. In meditation, I’ve learned to connect to “Presence,” another name for the universal energy of existence. Recently, one morning, as I sank into the Presence energy in meditation, I wondered if it was the same as the energy I had been experiencing with Chandler since their death. The two energies we much the same though the energy of Presence felt somewhat more profound. However, they we’re definitely of the same ilk, mysteriously subtle, compelling, and supportive. 

Has the spiritual work I’ve been doing, including accessing Presence on a daily basis, laid the groundwork for the richness of my new mysterious connection with Chandler? Now, after their death, I experience them as a sidekick, always there supporting me whatever I’m doing though not in any physical or verbal way. They’re just there subtly pulling me toward a higher self. 

Lust has always been the Achille’s Heel of my spiritual life, continually tempting me toward promiscuity. With Chandler, when I’m pulled by lust, they simply move farther into the background as a non-judgmental observer and just that reduces the pull. Similarly, when I show other weaknesses of character, Chandler is there as a non-judgmental observer and guide. 

As time passes, I hope Chandler stays with me. I think they will. And some day maybe our energies will merge.